What helped my healing MOST

Healing a chronic illness isn’t a quick fix or a straight line. It happens in layers, and it takes time. If your nervous system has spent years in a dysregulated state, it may take a year or more to help it feel safe again.

Many people say there’s no “cure” for ME/CFS — and in a sense, they’re right. There isn’t one single cure. But that doesn’t mean healing isn’t possible. Healing and finding a “cure” are not the same thing. Recovery can happen, even without one universal solution.

The first step is letting go of the way you’ve healed in the past. This isn’t a cold, a broken ankle, or an infection. It’s a complex mind–body condition. We’ve been conditioned to believe that if something can be healed, there must be a pill or a specific medical treatment for it. But there are other approaches. Real, root-cause-based approaches that heal over time! Here are the healing modalities that helped me (and many others) the most:

Brain retraining - directly interrupting the negative thoughts that come up during recovery like "this sucks, I'll never get better" or "what if I can never heal?" and replace it immeditately with "this may not feel good, but I am safe" and "I can absolutely heal it just takes time". Brain retraining takes consistency and a lot of effort. You have to really catch those thoughts to rewire them.

Responding neutrally to symptoms is also a huge part of brain retraining. We want to get that limbic system out of threat mode, and fearing symptoms keeps that loop going. It kind of feels like gaslighting yourself in a more compassionate way lol. The great thing about your brain is that it can change and new neural pathways can form. Yay neuroplasticity! I will say having a coach was super helpful for me. I had so many doubts, questions and just needed a lot of reassurance that it was working and I was doing it right.

Nervous system regulation - truly the core of my healing. Getting your brain out of chronic fight/flight or freeze and into a rest/digest/safe state is where healing happens. Regulating the nervous system sends signals to your brain that you are no longer in danger. Below are my favorite ways to regulate daily.

• STOP rushing. Do things so slow. Brush teeth, cook a meal, eat a meal, write a gratitude list, etc. as slow as you can. Hypervigilence shows up in rushing. Slowing down signals to brain that there is nothing chasing us. We are safe.

• Self compassion. Nervous system regulation starts with how you speak to yourself and how you treat yourself. Shame/blame is one of the most dysregulating vibrational emotions and shifting into self compassion is one of the most important ways to regulate and cultivate safety within.

• Somatics. The core of embodied internal safety. Breathwork, yoga nidra, somatic shaking, legs up on the wall, touching and pulling the ears, scanning the room and naming objects, moving the body intuitively to slow music (sometimes triggers tears, let them flow!), self soothing and cultivating safety through butterfly tapping, massaging arm muscles, touching face or neck, meditation (can be a guided video from YouTube or just sitting in silence, focusing on the breath and silencing the mind.) All bring the body into a sense of here, now and safe.

• EFT Tapping. Tapping away at pressure points brings our bodies into the present moment allowing subconcious emotions to flow out. Get on YouTube and find a EFT tapping video that you can relate to. And get ready to cry lol.

• Crying. My personal favorite. I take the time to sit with myself every single day and do a body scan, if I feel the urge to cry, I ALWAYS will. No joke this has been one of the best ways for my body to release cortisol, stored emotions, pent up energy and can immediately help relieve symptoms. You don't always have to have a clear reason why you're crying either, some times the body just needs to release. Make sure to always self sooth, comfort and hold yourself during and after, it's not just about the release but how we comfort ourselves through it that reaffirms to our brain/body we are safe to feel and safe to cry.

Alignment - Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like you have to force someone to hear you, over explain to get your point across, often feel judged, misunderstood or you're worried someone will get mad at you for just being you? That relationship is probably is NOT in alignment. The subconcious and the nervous system is constantly bracing in relationships like this. Leaving misaligned or unhealthy relationships, situations, environments, places shifted my healing quicker than anything else.

I understand this is one of the hardest things to do during the healing process because connection, community and relationships feel so detrimental. But choosing yourself will ultimately reflect in your health. Trust me. And you will have the opportunity to meet new people who are more aligned in the future.

Reparenting your inner child - this is a concept that I learned from my therapist/coach when we were working through core wounds and a lot of difficult emotions from childhood (and now) were resurfacing. You're basically speaking directly to your inner child and comforting yourself in a way that you would ideally would have wanted a parent to during a hard or emotional time. This type of work has been sooo helpful to cultivating safety inside me during big emotional releases, fears, triggers, flares etc. Because no, we don't usually have our parents or a safe person nearby at all times to comfort us when we need it. And some parents never had the emotional capacity to hold space for our emotions in the way WE needed from the beginning. Reparenting yourself can help rewire the brain to feel truly safe in our bodies again. We really can become our own loving parent. <3

Journal Speak - a technique that changed the game for me. Writing out all negative feelings without holding back about situations that still hold an emotional charge for you. Let it out. Be angry, insane, raw... cry... scream, hit shit. Then throw it away and self sooth and reaffirm this event is over and you are safe now. Find exactly how to do it here: https://mytmsjourney.com/resources/journalspeak-by-nicole-sachs-lcsw/ 

Living life again - This may not seem like it would be part of healing a condition that only gets worse when you go out and do things or start expanding activity. But I promise you, it is an essential part of the process. When I started doing things again (going grocery shopping, coffee shops, going on longer walks, etc.) I WAS NOT feeling ready or healed in any way. I did it despite the fatigue and the discomfort. At the time I didn’t know that this was helping me. I had a flare/AP every time. But it was slowly teaching and showing my nervous system and brain that we are safe to go do things again. Start slow. Be consistent. Cultivate internal safety during and after. Don’t let the APs discourage you. You got this.

Stop people pleasing - setting boundaries (HUGE), honoring your inner voice/gut, stop over explaining or oversharing, stop trying to prove your worth, honoring your energy and only giving it to things and people you really feel aligned with, and actually putting YOURSELF, your health, your life and your happiness first.

These are all truly what shifted my healing the most. And it takes time. To understand more about these healing concepts and modalities or how to use them, you are welcome to send me a message on here or any platform. Sending love! You got this.

Your friend,

Zoey